Don't Piss Off Old People

I saw a T-shirt the other day that said:

Don’t Piss Off

Old People


The Older We Get

the Less

Life in Prison

is a Deterrent

After thinking about such a profound statement for about half a millisecond, I realized that it was pretty spot on. I mean, think about it. What does Life in Prison really mean for old people? It means:

· Free rent.

· Free meals.

· Free health care, including dental and vision.

· Free internet and cable TV.

· Free haircuts.

· Free security.

So far, life in prison sounds just like what you get at most retirement homes, except that you don’t have to pay for it.

But there are other benefits, such as:

· No more buying clothes (the state will provide all of your clothing needs).

· No more paying taxes or filing tax returns.

· No more having to vote (the Democrats will vote for you).

· No more having to remember to take the trash out.

· No more having to go out in the rain to go buy Depends or Metamucil because you ran out.

· No more having to babysit your two spoiled rotten grandkids because your son or daughter decided at the last minute that they needed some “time to themselves”.

Wow, now it’s beginning to sounds a lot like the Utopian world that the Socialist Democrats are promising, only it’s all free.

And then there are all of the “intangible benefits:

· Freedom from uninvited guests.

· Freedom from solicitors knocking on your door just when you laid down for your third nap.

· Freedom from Robo-callers wanting to sell you an extended warranty for the car you sold two years ago.

· Freedom from HOA Feminazis sending you certified letters telling you to mow your yard because the grass is1/4 inch too tall.

· Freedom from Politiians constantly hounding you for donations.

· Freedom from your sex-crazed wife or husband hounding you for sex ever five minutes (OK, that’s a bit of a stretch, but you never know).

I could probably go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

The fact of the matter is that old people just don’t have a lot to worry about if they get sent to prison for life, especially if it’s “life without parole”. For most of us old people life in prison means we will most likely die there, so it’s not much different than getting the death penalty.

In fact, getting the death penalty may be preferable over life in prison because it means you get a private room.

So, a word to the wise (and the not so wise).

Don’t Piss Off Old People.

You just might have a lot more to lose than we do.

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