There’s a Pandemic in Washington DC and It’s Not Covid-19

Why is it that most of our male elected representatives (Congressmen and Senators), seem to suffer from the same medical malady? Whatever the cause, this disease has reached epidemic proportions, and seems to be spreading at exponential rates.

There must be something in the water in Washington DC, because even those representatives that don’t exhibit symptoms of this often politically terminal disease when running for office seem to develop a malignant case shortly after arriving in Washington.

Males that show political aspirations at a young age sometimes show early onset of a variant of this disease called “Microchidia”, in which the testes fail to fully develop. This disease is more commonly known by its non-medical term “Nanonads”.

Another form of the disease, called “Dysgenisys”, results in the defective development of the testes. The more common term for this disease is “Badnads”, but in Washington it is often referred to as the “Mitch McConnell Syndrome”.

The most virulent form of the disease is referred to as “Testicular Atrophy” and typically results in the shrinkage of the testes, and in some extreme cases, can result in the complete disappearance of the testes. This is more commonly known as “Political Castration” or “Nonads” disease.

Unfortunately, this is also the most common form of the disease, and seems to be especially prevalent among Republicans. It is believed to be the primary cause of Republicans becoming RINOs.

Whatever the cause or source of this debilitating disease, it seems to be highly contagious and affects almost every male member of Congress.

Indications that a Congressman or Senator may have this disease are: failure to support any bill that requires taking a position contrary to that of the political elite, lying to his constituents, or making ridiculous excuses for his actions or non-actions.

Unfortunately, there is no known cure for this disease and the only way of treating it effectively is to vote infected members out of office.

Some doctors believe it is possible for some of those infected by the disease to control the effects of the disease through strict adherence to their oath of office. But sadly, after numerous test cases, there have been no successful results from this form of treatment due to the patients’ inability to adhere to the protocol.

Surprisingly, there seems to be a rare but related form of this disease that only affects female members of Congress. Fortunately, this variant has a positive effect on those infected by it. Due to its rarity, there is no medical term for this disease, but it is generally referred to as “Grownads” disease.

Now if we could just figure out how to modify the female variant of the disease so that it also affected male members of Congress. Unfortunately, this is beyond current medical technology.

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